14 Useful Habits To Just Get Started
Estimated reading time: 11 Min
This post is for people who are self-aware enough to admit they want to overcome procrastination and are prepared to ask themselves: “Why can’t I just get started?”
If you find it’s difficult to just get started, I know, you know who you are!
If you want to make a change – you can JUST GET STARTED!
Unfortunately, if you procrastinate, you just might not read this…
So, If you know someone else who wants to overcome procrastination, please share with them!« and please be gentle…
Just Get Started Now!
Some Of My Weaknesses
When I was young, things came easily to me. I was encouraged to take up more or less any opportunity that came my way… I fell down a lot and simply got up and tried again.
I found it easy to just get started! My mind didn’t know any better.
Now, this isn’t unusual, of course.
Most people have a similar experience.
It might well sound like a strength, even, but I had no perception of failing or persevering. I was just having fun!
At some point during my mid-teens, along came the era when I thought I knew everything – and I took less interest in learning anything new and just continued having fun!
Nobody else went through that, of course!
During my twenties, I joined a company that preached “get it right the first time”.
That ethos was a little odd when you consider that some years earlier their founder had famously stated:
“You can be discouraged by failure, or you can learn from it. So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all the mistakes you can. Because, remember that’s where you’ll find success – on the far side of failure”
Thomas J. Watson
If only I’d picked up on Thomas Watson’s ideas back then!
Over time, my learning stalled – and my interest in doing anything new waned.
It was easy to blame circumstances for my procrastination (and I did at times), whereas my experience was really all of my own making.
I found it progressively harder (although I didn’t notice it at the time) to just get started at anything new to me.
Deep down, I knew that, as an adult, I was responsible for my own outcomes, although I really had no idea what that meant.
Nowadays, I don’t blame anyone else for my trend back then. It was a direct result of my mindset at the time.
Procrastination became a way of life.
In hindsight, life was perhaps too easy.
I often simply “couldn’t be bothered”, and it never occurred to me that fear was the primary cause.
Consciously, I thought I wasn’t afraid of anything!
During my late twenties, with a bunch of friends, we used to get ourselves into deep philosophical discussions (or at least that’s what we thought we were doing after a beverage or two).
One evening we found ourselves discussing the fear of failure (understandable, I thought) and then the fear of success (a little more difficult to comprehend at the time).
The thing is that both of these fears, which made no sense to me back then, seemed to imply that the sufferer wasn’t prepared to take responsibility for their actions.
Those people often avoided or squandered opportunities.
That wasn’t me, of course!
I knew I was procrastinating somewhat, but, nah, being afraid wasn’t me (denial was easy).
Introducing FOGS
A few weeks later, in one of our discussions, someone started talking about a fear of taking the first steps.
Someone else in the group called it a fear of getting started (nowadays often referred to as FOGS for short).
They both claimed that, in the past, they’d been afraid to get started at many things.
It seemed to me that both were more self-aware and honest than I was with myself.
The first person said he had somehow come to realise that first steps don’t usually lead to just one path.
He explained that he thought there would always be more options, more decisions to make, and many different opportunistic paths to follow.
He thought that accepting this as being the status quo led to him being able to make, what he previously thought were risky decisions.
For some reason that I can’t explain, this (new to me) way of looking at procrastination got through.
To cut a long story short – after some thinking and various discussions with others, I realised I really was afraid of taking the first step in a number of situations.
So I began to take a deeper look at myself.
Through self-examination, I realised that I was afraid of making the decision to take the first steps.
- I perceived I’d be cutting down my options for the future.
- I thought that being committed to a decision meant being committed to following a single path.
- Perhaps more importantly, I came to the conclusion that the fears of success, failure, and getting started, for me at least, had more to do with being afraid of taking responsibility!
I didn’t want to take responsibility for the results of carrying out my own decisions.
This led to a self-developed habit of often avoiding making decisions and relying on others around me to decide…
What Is FEAR?
So, although FOGS is an acronym for Fear Of Getting Started, the word “fear” was a stumbling block for me.
I found it difficult to accept that I was “afraid” of anything.
I guess FOGS isn’t procrastination as such; but it can, if not addressed, along with any other related fears, lead to chronic procrastination.
So what is fear, then, eh?
Being afraid of something conjures up feelings of discomfort.
This is perfectly normal because the brain does everything it can to protect us.
The brain will do everything it can to minimise change.
So, caution isn’t a bad thing – so long as we control it consciously as opposed to us being controlled by our subconscious mindset.
The thing about me was that by not deciding to get on with something,
I didn’t need to take responsibility, so long as I didn’t start,
I couldn’t fail! Can you understand that?
I hadn’t realised that the feelings of discomfort I experienced indicated a fear, and my resultant procrastination became a habit!
Feelings have an uncanny way of convincing us that they are based on fact – when most of the time they aren’t.
Often, not even a little bit of fact!
Fears usually reflect flawed logic.
However, there are sometimes real risks to consider and manage.
When we genuinely examine the facts of a situation, we often discover that most risks identified can be controlled in one way or another.
There may be some risks that simply can’t be controlled by us; even so, they’re worth becoming aware of so that we can prepare to handle any consequences.
The level of control we have can be developed. Creating habits is like developing muscles. They need to be developed deliberately.
This requires a deliberate focus and a deliberate change in our reactions to the experiences of discomfort.
I Often Made Excuses
Yes, they were excuses – as opposed to solid reasons.
They were self-imposed barriers designed by me to avoid making a commitment:
- Lack of time was my favourite excuse said out loud. It was very rarely true.
- “I don’t know where to start” was something I often said to myself.
My subconscious “monkey mind” worked overtime with this. I agreed too easily without bothering to challenge it. In those days, I didn’t know much about how my brain and mind work! - I often said to myself: “I’m no good at that!” – about things that I hadn’t even tried.
Not even a little.
My monkey mind was on constant duty!
How on earth did I agree with that, especially when I’d managed to achieve unexpected challenges when younger?
I’d love to tell you that I never procrastinate now.
That I never feel the fear!
However, I’m still a “work in progress” although I believe I’ve made giant strides away from where I was towards where I want to be!
The following 14 mindset ideals have made an enormous difference…
14 Useful Habits For Overcoming FOGS
- Always accept & address your fears.
So, you need to be honest and open-minded with yourself…
That’s tough sometimes, I know!
Fears can be overwhelming and hold you back from achieving your goals.
Therefore, it’s essential to acknowledge and confront them. Once you accept your fears you’ll more easily confront and address them. Over time, you’ll be able to move forward with more confidence and take the necessary steps to achieve your objectives. - When you decide to make a change, it’s often good to start small.
Making significant changes in your life can be daunting, and starting small can make the process less overwhelming. Setting small goals and achieving them will build your confidence and keep you motivated to continue. - Be aware enough to notice opportunities to seize.
Opportunities don’t always come knocking at your door. Sometimes, you have to seek them out and be aware enough to recognize them. Being alert and open-minded can help you identify opportunities that align with your goals and aspirations. Carpe diem! - Examine the facts of a situation… focus on the facts, plan, then take action.
It’s essential to have a clear understanding of a situation before making any decisions. Examining the facts will help you make informed choices and avoid any impulsive or emotional reactions. Once you have a clear plan of action, take the necessary steps to achieve your objectives. - We fear what we don’t know or understand; so learn what you need to.
Fear can stem from a lack of knowledge or understanding. Therefore, it’s crucial to educate yourself on the things you fear. By gaining knowledge, you’ll become more confident and empowered to overcome your fears. - Tame the “monkey mind”.
The “monkey mind” refers to the subconscious interference (constant chatter in our minds) that can be distracting and overwhelming. To tame it, you need to be aware of it, acknowledge it, and handle it.
Notice when it talks with you, handle it, and don’t let it control your conscious thinking. - Understand that life is short… procrastination is a waste.
Procrastination is a common problem that can hinder your progress and prevent you from achieving your goals. Remember, life is short, and time is precious. Don’t waste it procrastinating. Instead, deliberately address your fears and take action towards your goals. - With the right mindset, there’s no such thing as failure…
In my mind there’s no such thing as failure, only setbacks and they all provide feedback!
It’s ok to experience setbacks – learn what you can from the experience – setbacks are a natural part of the learning process.
Now, that doesn’t mean try to create them – it means don’t be emotionally attached to setbacks when they happen. Know that you can learn from them and handle them successfully.
Instead of fearing failure, embrace setbacks, and learn from them. - Manage your expectations.
If you manage your expectations, you’ll be better equipped to handle setbacks and continue moving forward.
You can expect to experience setbacks…
Remember, every outcome provides feedback that you can use to improve and grow. - Be aware of things outside your control, but don’t dwell on them beyond planning a contingency when necessary.
Instead, focus on what you can control. Some things are beyond our control, and it’s essential to accept that fact. However, dwelling on them can be counterproductive. Instead, focus on the things you can control and take action towards achieving your goals. - Become passionate… be excited… that’ll develop unstoppable energy.
Passion and excitement are powerful motivators that can help you achieve your goals. When you’re passionate about something, you’re more likely to put in the effort and stay committed. By developing unstoppable energy, you’ll be better equipped to overcome any obstacles that come your way. - Get organised. This starts with knowing what you want to achieve and why.
Here’s a practical 6 step process to become the best you can to help you on your way.
Having a clear idea of what you want to achieve and why it’s important to you, is the first step towards achieving success. Without a clear vision, it’s challenging to create appropriate goals and to focus on a plan for achieving them.
To achieve what you want, try focusing on the 6 steps one at a time. This blueprint includes steps like defining your goals, identifying potential options for taking action, deciding what to do and developing a plan of action steps.
By following a structured plan, you can increase your chances of success and avoid getting side-tracked along the way. - Be careful who you choose to share aspirations or goals with.
When pursuing a goal, it’s important to have a support system in place. however, you’ll find that not everyone is supportive, and some people may even be negative or dismissive of your aspirations.
It’s essential to choose carefully who you share your goals and aspirations with, as the wrong person can easily undermine your confidence and motivation.
Your monkey mind, or your inner critic, can be challenging enough to deal with, without external negativity.
So, choose to surround yourself with positive, supportive people who encourage and motivate you. - Realise that whatever you want, competition validates your aspirations.
Competition can be a positive force when pursuing a goal.
It can motivate you to work harder, be more creative, and push you outside of your comfort zone – so avoid fearing competition.
By viewing competition as a validation of your aspirations, you can use it as a tool to stay focused and motivated. However, it’s essential to keep in mind that competition can also be unhealthy and counterproductive.
It’s crucial to maintain a healthy balance by focusing on your own progress rather than constantly comparing yourself to others. Use competition as a source of inspiration and motivation rather than as a source of self-doubt or negativity.
Summary
Overcoming the fear of getting started is about replacing the fear…
Replace it with the idea that when we feel uncomfortable, we are growing.
There’s no growth without discomfort and some level of risk.
If you want to grow as a person become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.
Don’t ignore the discomfort though.
Figure out the facts of a situation, before deciding to plan and take action based on whatever it is that you want to achieve.
Also, know that, if you don’t feel uncomfortable then you’re not stretching enough.
Realise this… if you want something new, then by default you will need to change something… if you want to change, it will be uncomfortable.
Know why you want to do whatever you decide.
Don’t let any feelings of discomfort stop you from consciously taking as much control as possible.
Be genuine with yourself and look forward to learning something new.
Develop habits that allow for appropriate change and learning…
Deliberately practice reacting positively, whatever happens, every day and just get started!
OK…that’s it for now, but I’d love to hear from you!
Do tell me what you think in the comments.
If you like what you read… please share as well!
Richard
